tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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