I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
