I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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