I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
