Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
