you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
