i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize