I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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