What did we do last night that was yellow?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
