i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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