will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
