and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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