I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
