btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize