home. puking in laundry basket.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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