He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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