I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry about my life...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
