if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
