8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she told me i tasted like america
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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