so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
