He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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