if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
