2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
