Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
