summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she looked like the before picture.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
