i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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