i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I will pee on everything he values.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
