My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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