All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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