What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
