just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
