Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
