Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
