OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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