Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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