Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
