The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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