Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
