i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
