Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
