I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
