she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
