Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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