Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
