i think i have herpe
just one?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize