If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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