he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
