I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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