i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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