9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
