I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
