So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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