ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
