Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
