dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i will never coherently bang her
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This is my gift to your gina
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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