Do you still have your period?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
