Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Randomize
