is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
