Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't turn off my feet"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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