My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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